Living in the present

Dr. G gave me some challenging homework. She told me to live in the present. Go with the flow & just see what happens.

Um what?! No planning?! WHY WOULD I DO THAT?!

My dubious look must have given me away because she immediately said, “Don’t worry about the past. Don’t worry about the future. Just live in the moment. And if something happens that’s not quite how you expected, say, ‘This is interesting’ & see what happens next.”

Uh huh… Well… This is interesting. 😛

It’s very hard for me. My natural inclination is to prepare for every hypothetical situation. But as Dr. G is showing me, all that’s doing is revving up my anxiety. And then I get upset when things don’t happen how I think & then there’s the depression. So I try to control everything so it doesn’t happen again (OCD) but it, of course, does & I’m disappointed. Thus, the cycle continues.

Ugh. No wonder I’m exhausted.

But I am trying to do what she told me. It’s work but I’m getting there.

Case in point:

I finally got my car back today! YAY!!! I’ve been in a rental for 6 weeks & I’ve been over it since Day 1. After being pushed off a few weeks, I was supposed to get it “back on Monday, Wednesday at the latest” this week. But then there was some issue so “Thursday for sure.” Which turned into “Friday afternoon.” Naturally, I’m not a fan. I don’t like being jerked around especially when I’m dropping a lot of money to get it fixed.

But then I thought about Dr. G’s challenge. Instead of being upset that it’s 3 weeks past the original due date (past)  & wondering when it’s actually gonna be done (future), I did my best to go with the flow & live in the present. It wasn’t easy but I did what I could to help cope with it. And hey, I did learn something from it so I guess that’s good.

See? I’m working on it! 😀


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