discovering who I really am in the midst of a chaotic world
Ugh. I'm emotionally, financially, socially, mentally, physically exhausted. I know. Everyone says that. I feel like today it's not an exaggeration. EMOTIONALLY I'm numb. There's some shit that has upset me (intimate relationships have their ups & downs) but I'm tired of going around & around. Fine. I give up. You win. Have it your way. …
I've been thinking lately about people from my past. Old friends who've moved away or we've naturally drifted apart after graduation or when jobs end. Toxic "friends" I had to keep away for my own health (& my therapist agrees). Everything from big blow-outs over a significant other to walking away with no response. What …
I'm late getting this out, but as you know, I've had other things on my mind. 😉 – A snapshot – PHYSICAL: 4 → 5 FINANCIAL: 5 → 6 – The details – PHYSICAL: 4 Ugh. I've been feeling off for about a week. I haven't been eating much & I'm emptying out a lot. …
I think this is part 4 by now... I've been taking little breaks throughout the day in writing this. Disclaimer: This is just where I'm at today. I don't need anyone to "check up" on me. I don't need to meet anyone for lunch. I don't need to call my therapist. I'm not in any danger. …
Continuing with baring my soul... I don't like fighting for attention. It's not my personality. I feel foolish & desperate, & most of all, vulnerable. What I will do is maybe make a joke or two about it & see how the other person reacts. I don't do this to be manipulative; I want to …
Continuing with emptying out my heart & my mind, this one is really painful & hard to write. I'm having to take a lot of breaks & calm down so that I don't get worked up into an attack. My apologies if it doesn't flow well... Trigger warning: Abusive parent I'm not her. It's a …
Hey... I know I've been quiet. TBH, I've stared at a blank screen for a while before I decide to shut down & walk away. I'm not even sure what to talk to you about. Not that I'm bored with you, because I'm not at all. More like... I'm not sure where to go from here. So …
Please don't mistake this post for arrogance. Everyone has a trait they excel in - this one is mine. That's all. I'm sure if you talked about fly-fishing or ice skating or whatever you kick ass in, you wouldn't think you were boasting, right? Same, fam. I was thinking about the other day how I …
So I'm not sure how to word this latest phase of life I'm in. I'm sure I'll sound bizarre & not make a lot of sense. My apologies in advance. I'm not drunk nor am I high. Just new territory. 🙂 I saw Dr. G on Monday. I was telling her all about these wonderful, …
This past Shabbat was Parashat Emor, which is a section of Leviticus about different laws for Shabbat, holidays, & so forth. Rabbi S focused on the section of harvesting & it's still with me several days later. Leviticus states when you harvest your grains, leave the outside edges alone for the poor to have. Also, whatever …
