Building walls

Disclaimer: I'm sure somebody will read this & want to reach out. Please don't. I'm not looking for a handout or pity friends. I'm done with that. I'm working through some heartache & this is how I'm doing it. I've spent most of the day isolating myself from friends & loved ones. I need space …

Empty promises

I know I've mentioned this before but it's weighing on my mind today... I'm so done with waiting and waiting and waiting for people to get their shit together. I realized today that while waiting for a change that will never happen, I'm putting my life on hold. Why do I do that? Why can't …

Hermit

Ugh.ย I'm emotionally, financially, socially, mentally, physically exhausted. I know. Everyone says that. I feel like today it's not an exaggeration. EMOTIONALLY I'm numb. There's some shit that has upset me (intimate relationships have their ups & downs) but I'm tired of going around & around. Fine. I give up. You win. Have it your way. …

Simmering

I think this is part 4 by now... I've been taking little breaks throughout the day in writing this. Disclaimer:ย This is just where I'm at today. I don't need anyone to "check up" on me. I don't need to meet anyone for lunch. I don't need to call my therapist. I'm not in any danger. …

“I would, but…”

I fucking hate that phrase. Do you know how many times I've heard it? Roughly sixty bajillion. It's always said to me like it's supposed to make everything better. Like they're the first person to bail on me. Like everything was out of their control & I'm the only one who has to suffer. But …

I’m here

I think these Israeli girls on the right are a perfect representation of my soul right now lol Hey... I know I've been AWOL. The short version is I've been sick & busy & can't seem to focus. I feel like I have the attention span of a sick gnat. Long version? HEALTH: I've had …

Old writing

I had recently found & reread some of my old high school writing. OMG. I thought it was SO GOOD. It was not. ๐Ÿ˜‰ But I guess everyone feels that way until they get out in the real world & get better with their writing. One poem (of course, it was a poem) in particular …

Overstimulated

I've been sitting here staring at this blank screen for the better part of 10 minutes. I do have a variety of topics to tell you but I have no drive to write anything "good" today. And you know what? That's okay. ๐Ÿ™‚ So here's what's going on with me... The short version is that …

Frozen lakes

How beautiful is this picture?! OMG. My jaw literally dropped when I saw it! Hey ๐Ÿ™‚ I know that my last few posts have been Debbie Downers & I don't want you to think I'm in that place. I mean, you know I have low days, sure. But I'm in a good place right now. …