Stunned

Sigh... Well, I don't have to wait until October anymore. I got my answer tonight & I wasn't ready at all. It was wrapped in a broken promised package with a pretty little bow. Things that were gonna work a few days ago are now gone. I'm so tired of being hurt. I'm so tired …

Worn out

I started classes last week which was great. I noticed last night that I was missing a few students & I had a few "sickies" show up. And today? Today, my throat hurts & I'm a little stuffy. Ughhhh. Leave your sick kids at home! Airborne viruses are a thing! My period started yesterday, too. …

College & depression

Ah, yes. College. That time in our lives that's full of education, drinking with new friends, & overall excitement. When freshly graduated 18-year-olds venture out into the real world with Mom & Dad proudly looking on. What a time, right? Yeah, not for me. I know I've mentioned this at some point before but my …

Coasting

I'm currently sitting on my bed. I went to Temple, ran to Target, & came home. I changed my clothes, put on soothing music, & sat down. And the whole time, I'm trying to not cry. "What's going on?" My heart hurts. I'm not ready to open everything up & give you all the details. …

Supernova

I've been overwhelmed, in a fog, & unable to think straight. I've been meaning to talk to you but I can't seem to get the words out. I'm slow-moving & I can feel the stress piling on. So much so, my jaw has been hurting non-stop for about 2 weeks now (from clinching, not from …

Building walls

Disclaimer: I'm sure somebody will read this & want to reach out. Please don't. I'm not looking for a handout or pity friends. I'm done with that. I'm working through some heartache & this is how I'm doing it. I've spent most of the day isolating myself from friends & loved ones. I need space …

Empty promises

I know I've mentioned this before but it's weighing on my mind today... I'm so done with waiting and waiting and waiting for people to get their shit together. I realized today that while waiting for a change that will never happen, I'm putting my life on hold. Why do I do that? Why can't …

Hermit

Ugh. I'm emotionally, financially, socially, mentally, physically exhausted. I know. Everyone says that. I feel like today it's not an exaggeration. EMOTIONALLY I'm numb. There's some shit that has upset me (intimate relationships have their ups & downs) but I'm tired of going around & around. Fine. I give up. You win. Have it your way. …