Disclaimer: I’m not in a poly relationship so my expertise is very limited. I can only tell you what I’ve seen through others’ experiences. But hey, if you wanna know more, Google til your heart’s content or ask your poly friends! No judgment here!
I had an interesting thought the other day. I realized several of my good friends are in *poly relationships. From what I can tell, they are V triads, meaning Person A is with Person B & Person C, but B & C aren’t with each other. If B & C get together, then that completes the triad. It all seems confusing to me, but then again, I’m not in that type of relationship. I’m sure if I was, it would make sense since I could see the boundaries (I’m big on boundaries!).
I don’t know if I could do it, TBH. I think I would get too jealous. A lover smiling & looking satisfied that I didn’t cause? Yeah. My competitive nature would flip the fuck out.
DD is in an open relationship so I asked them about it & the difference between poly & open. “To me, an open relationship means you can go out & have your fun if you happen to meet someone. You’re not actively searching someone out. But at the end of the night, you know who you’re coming home to.”
So if DD meets someone & the two of them starts to date, does that mean they’re in a triad now with the other person? I’m not sure.
I do think it’s unrealistic to expect one person to fulfill all your needs. That puts an ungodly amount of pressure on your significant other to give you everything you need. You don’t see that type of behavior in Platonic relationships. If I have concerns about dance, I’ll talk to LC. Spirituality? LH. Mental health & the day-to-day struggles? DD. Just in the mood to be blunt & not have it rejected? CR. And so on & so on. I’m sure you do the same, as well.
So why do we expect our S.O. to take on all of that responsibility? And if the idea against polyamory is that your S.O. is only fulfilling your sexual needs & friends take care of your other needs, then what kind of relationship is that? Get a hooker. At least that’ll be cheaper & easier on your heart & lifestyle.
Even given my jealousy, I think I would be open to trying it. Full disclosure: I’m not sure I would keep my cool. Like I said, I’m very competitive & I want to be the best. I might try to force out the other person. Haha – whoops. 😉
If you’re in a poly relationship, tell me how you deal with jealousy. I’m really curious!
*I’m not going to go over polyamory vs polygamy. Partly because I don’t want to butcher it. 😉 So for the purposes of today’s conversation, I’m using the general term “poly.”
This has nothing to do with today’s topic. It just made me laugh 🙂