finding my truth

For the past few days (maybe a week), I’ve been practicing showing myself some gentleness. And because I’m only in the first few days, I’m not sure how great I’ll be at explaining it, but I’ll do my best.

I’m learning to speak kindly to myself, to slow down, & to allow myself to completely disconnect from the world. As you know, I’ve pulled back from socials & that’s been really good for my overall health. I’ve noticed my anxiety is more manageable & I feel more in control of my life. Disconnecting has been about 80% of a difference. Seriously, I can’t recommend it enough.

The other 20% has been showing myself gentleness. I give others WAY more grace, patience, & understanding than I do with myself. I realized I’ve been passively berating myself when I don’t execute something with absolute perfection. I thought I had worked through it, but as we all know, healing comes in stages. It’s not linear; it’s more like a spiral. You may be in the same general area as before, but it’s a little different, a little new. And you realize that you have a little more healing to do. That’s where it is with me.

I thought I had gotten through the verbal abuse, & for the most part, I had. But once you take away distractions (like socials), you find yourself with your thoughts & you’re forced to deal with them. And by “deal with them, ” I mean addressing problematic issues, sitting with uncomfortable or unfamiliar feelings, & making good decisions that benefit you.

So while I’ve been going through this internal journey, I find myself being very patient & gentle when talking. Almost as if I was speaking with my inner child, which, let’s be honest, is probably what’s happening. I’m giving myself room to heal & grow. I’m not putting deadlines on this journey, like I would usually do.

So yeah. It’s new & shiny but it feels good. Is this how you show yourself love?