finding my truth

Hey

As you can see, I took some time off. Well, a lot of time. It was beyond needed & I feel way stronger now than I was this time last year.

2024 might have been the hardest year I’ve gone through. My dad died within the first week, which should’ve been my sign that the year was gonna suck. I lost friends, lost jobs, & felt like I was broken down to my absolute core. Loved ones disappeared & there were many times where I felt utterly alone. It was like the building of my life had detonated & I was trapped with no one to help me out of the rubble but myself.

But there was something beautiful that happened in the midst of that. Being stripped away of outside support (whether if that was financial, emotional, or whatever) taught me to really look inside & see who I am, who I want to be.

Quick note: I did & do still have amazing friends. You know who you are. I’m not talking about you. You were the ones who rolled up your sleeves & encouraged me to push forward. But you also know who walked away.

If you’ve been here for any length of time, you know that’s why I started this blog. To find my truth. To find my north star. To find that pull that’s deep, deep inside of me. And having removed all the rock & debris from the 2024 destruction, I can see what it is I’ve been searching for.

To my surprise, it’s a little girl. She’s very young, scared, & covered in dirt. Her clothes are ratty, her hair is messy, and her heart is gold. She’s constantly looked over, ignored, and misunderstood. She doesn’t know what happened to her or why or if she’ll make it.

And her name? Sarah.

Reaching out to my inner child & helping her out has been incredible. There are times when I just think about my younger self or see an old pic & just cry. She so badly wanted a hug. And so I take the time to love her, heal her, & tell her about this amazing life she will have.

And that, my sweet friend, has been astronomical in my healing journey. Even typing it up has me choked up. She deserved better. But now? Now, we’re a team. Now, I give her the love & support she needed & she gives me tremendous security & confidence. We’re unstoppable.

I’m really loving this new stage of my life. I’m no longer scared of losing ground, losing my healing. It’s different. This is here to stay. I also find myself not overthinking as much or worried about others. Not in a cold, detached way. More like, “You’re an adult. Make your own decisions. It doesn’t affect me.” Or in the case of those who walked away, “I can’t force you to stay. If you want to go, then go.” I’m also no longer allowing others to siphon this healing. I’m maintaining hard boundaries & I’ve never been happier. Like I said, there’s a lot of security there that didn’t used to be. I’ll have to write more about it later.

I have great plans for this year & I’m not as anxious about what’s to come. Why? Because I’ve got the perfect partner. She’s got my back & I’ve got hers.