Unworthy

Am I worthy of love? Am I worthy of happiness? Or is my time for that gone? I've been trying to focus and please others. Whatever they want, I'll do it. Whatever will make them happy, I'll do it. I've spent a lot of time, money, and energy into giving them exactly what they need. …

I can’t

I'm on day 5 of hell. I can't do this anymore. How could someone act so cold? I shared my dreams, my hopes, & my fears with them. They know me intimately. Yes, there were issues but I thought we were working on them. How could they just drop me & immediately move on? As …

Broken again

Disclaimer: I'm feeling very low & suicidal. There's your trigger warning. I can't keep doing this. I don't want to live. I'm so tired of these leftover pieces getting broken again & again. Why do I care so much? Why do I love so much? I wish I could switch it off. Maybe then I …

Crushed

I'm going to be vague today because I honestly don't know if this person reads my blog or not. I don't want to hurt them. Not at all. I need to work all of this out before I do something destructive so bear with me. Fair warning: I'm going to be raw & real. Skip …

My heart

I got some really personal & difficult news last night. I didn't sleep well from it & I'm still having problems dealing. Physically, I'm worn out & my body is reacting negatively. I'm emptying out & I'm having chills. Mentally, I want to give up. I feel completely overlooked & rejected. What's the point anymore? …

Bad day

Today was bad. Really bad. It was a low day to begin with. As anyone with depression can tell you, sometimes you can catch it & see it coming but not always. Sometimes you go to bed thinking you're gonna wake up & be crazy productive. But then depression is like, "Nah, fam" & you're …