Scrambled

Well, hello there, beautiful! How are things with you? Are they as scattered as they are with me? Fantastic. We're in this together. It's been so hard for me to focus these last few weeks. I'm sure it's from all the holidays (HanukkahChristmasHanukkahNewYear's - as if it was all one thought). People are off of …

Backpedaling

Such a cute movie! Hey stranger - So Job #1 has been crazy busy (seasonal work & all) so I haven't had time to actually talk to you & get you caught up on what's going on with me. I still have my list of several topics to cover with you. It's funny because I'll …

Stunned

Sigh... Well, I don't have to wait until October anymore. I got my answer tonight & I wasn't ready at all. It was wrapped in a broken promised package with a pretty little bow. Things that were gonna work a few days ago are now gone. I'm so tired of being hurt. I'm so tired …

Coasting

I'm currently sitting on my bed. I went to Temple, ran to Target, & came home. I changed my clothes, put on soothing music, & sat down. And the whole time, I'm trying to not cry. "What's going on?" My heart hurts. I'm not ready to open everything up & give you all the details. …

Building walls

Disclaimer: I'm sure somebody will read this & want to reach out. Please don't. I'm not looking for a handout or pity friends. I'm done with that. I'm working through some heartache & this is how I'm doing it. I've spent most of the day isolating myself from friends & loved ones. I need space …

Empty promises

I know I've mentioned this before but it's weighing on my mind today... I'm so done with waiting and waiting and waiting for people to get their shit together. I realized today that while waiting for a change that will never happen, I'm putting my life on hold. Why do I do that? Why can't …

I’m not her

Continuing with emptying out my heart & my mind, this one is really painful & hard to write. I'm having to take a lot of breaks & calm down so that I don't get worked up into an attack. My apologies if it doesn't flow well... Trigger warning: Abusive parent I'm not her. It's a …

My hands are tied

Trigger warning: physical abuse Remember how I mentioned there's a lot I wanna tell you but my mind's been a blank? I bought a little notepad today (my weakness) so I can write them down as they come to me. Ergo, this post. 🙂 I've told Dr. G several times about some of the emotional …