Backpedaling

Such a cute movie! Hey stranger - So Job #1 has been crazy busy (seasonal work & all) so I haven't had time to actually talk to you & get you caught up on what's going on with me. I still have my list of several topics to cover with you. It's funny because I'll …

Stunned

Sigh... Well, I don't have to wait until October anymore. I got my answer tonight & I wasn't ready at all. It was wrapped in a broken promised package with a pretty little bow. Things that were gonna work a few days ago are now gone. I'm so tired of being hurt. I'm so tired …

Coasting

I'm currently sitting on my bed. I went to Temple, ran to Target, & came home. I changed my clothes, put on soothing music, & sat down. And the whole time, I'm trying to not cry. "What's going on?" My heart hurts. I'm not ready to open everything up & give you all the details. …

Building walls

Disclaimer: I'm sure somebody will read this & want to reach out. Please don't. I'm not looking for a handout or pity friends. I'm done with that. I'm working through some heartache & this is how I'm doing it. I've spent most of the day isolating myself from friends & loved ones. I need space …

Empty promises

I know I've mentioned this before but it's weighing on my mind today... I'm so done with waiting and waiting and waiting for people to get their shit together. I realized today that while waiting for a change that will never happen, I'm putting my life on hold. Why do I do that? Why can't …

I’m not her

Continuing with emptying out my heart & my mind, this one is really painful & hard to write. I'm having to take a lot of breaks & calm down so that I don't get worked up into an attack. My apologies if it doesn't flow well... Trigger warning: Abusive parent I'm not her. It's a …

My hands are tied

Trigger warning: physical abuse Remember how I mentioned there's a lot I wanna tell you but my mind's been a blank? I bought a little notepad today (my weakness) so I can write them down as they come to me. Ergo, this post. 🙂 I've told Dr. G several times about some of the emotional …

Migraines

Holy fuck. I'm in a lot of pain. It started a little after lunch. This annoying stabbing pain on my left side. But unlike a "normal" ice pick headache, it didn't go away. I took meds but it still grew & grew. It wasn't long before I drew the shades, put relaxing music on, put …