Hey - I know we haven't really talked in a few years but I need to get a few things off my chest. I figured this would be the best way to do it for a few reasons. One, I'm giving you your space but not sending this to you directly. Two, you can have …
“It takes a village”
I was thinking about this phrase & how I've had to use it in my life. Emphasis on "had to." Let me explain.I like to do everything myself. It's hard for me to ask for help. Part of me feels like it's weakness (even though I know it's not) & another part of me feels …
Stuck in the grey
Some days I feel like I can't win. And this week has been one of those "days."I feel stuck in the blurry grey area. It feels like everything is fucked up no matter what I do. I have been actively trying to do the right thing, to go out of my way to shower others …
Happy 3rd Anniversary!
Mazel tov! We've made it 3 years! Can you believe it? My tagline for this blog is, "Discovering who I am in the midst of a chaotic world." I feel like it's still true for me today. Every day is another step towards my own, personal truth. Throughout the past few years, we've covered a …
My monsters
My insecurity has been at an all-time high lately. I'm paranoid, overly cautious, & feeling like a fake & that everyone will find out. I've been so scared & anxious, I feel paralyzed. I keep feeling like I'm gonna fuck up with my new job. They've told me repeatedly that I'm doing great & they're …
Updates with Dr. Cox
Hey - Things have been really rough. I'm just gonna type & see what comes out. I usually have something of an idea or I check my ongoing list of topics. But my thoughts are all muddled so I need to get some clarity. Let's see what happens... JOB UPDATE Oy. Okay, so after applying …
Penance
As a Jew, I don't believe or follow acts of penance but I do beat myself up a lot for being human. So samesies? In an effort to work on that, I thought I would write it out here. Sigh. Where to start? A little background: I'm dealing with some life-changing shit at the moment. …
Meet me in the middle
I'm feeling pretty low today. I'm frustrated with a relationship & I don't know what to do. Why can't they meet me halfway? Why can't they offer reassurance? They know I have anxiety. They know I have OCD. They know how I'm wired. They know I don't want to be like this. They know my …
Wait for it
I've had this song in my head all day. It's like LMM wrote it for me. When I first heard this song, it resonated within me. Seeing Hamilton sealed the deal. In this incredible musical, Burr is alone on stage & singing how he's "willing to wait for it." Wait for his chances with love, …
Stop
"OMG why can't you drop it?""Just fucking stop.""Why do you care so much?""Move on already!"I hear this shit all the time. Welcome to my world.All of this can easily be explained. And after having a big fight tonight, I figured I should work through these feelings & actually take the time to explain why.The simple …