discovering who I really am in the midst of a chaotic world
So today's post isn't a fun one. Sorry not sorry. It's a serious issue that I've been battling for a long time & I'm finally at the stage where I can confront it & start to deal with it. * deep sigh * The other night, I watched "Clueless" on Netflix. God, I forgot how …
My insecurity has been at an all-time high lately. I'm paranoid, overly cautious, & feeling like a fake & that everyone will find out. I've been so scared & anxious, I feel paralyzed. I keep feeling like I'm gonna fuck up with my new job. They've told me repeatedly that I'm doing great & they're …
As a Jew, I don't believe or follow acts of penance but I do beat myself up a lot for being human. So samesies? In an effort to work on that, I thought I would write it out here. Sigh. Where to start? A little background: I'm dealing with some life-changing shit at the moment. …
This week has been in-fucking-sane. Every day, there's been something new - either awesome or incredibly shitty. It's Friday the 13th (my fave!) & I couldn't enjoy it. Ugh. Okay, onto my story: Yeah. So that happened on Monday... I could spend hours telling you all the shitty things Boss #1 did, how much I …
I'm feeling pretty low today. I'm frustrated with a relationship & I don't know what to do. Why can't they meet me halfway? Why can't they offer reassurance? They know I have anxiety. They know I have OCD. They know how I'm wired. They know I don't want to be like this. They know my …
I've had this song in my head all day. It's like LMM wrote it for me. When I first heard this song, it resonated within me. Seeing Hamilton sealed the deal. In this incredible musical, Burr is alone on stage & singing how he's "willing to wait for it." Wait for his chances with love, …
Today's gifset was requested by MB. Certain character you wanna see? Let me know! I've noticed a new change lately. I told you how I could tell my subconscious was finally cooperating. But I'm seeing the effect in my conscious life. I'm overall...happier. I can't quite put my finger on what it was or what …
Continuing with today's earlier post... So I talked to Dr. G. Such a breath of fresh air. Seriously, everyone should be in therapy. I told her all about how I've been angry & sick of everyone's bullshit. I told her I don't feel guilty about it. I'm just done. And then she said the most …
I woke up with chest pains & emptying out. Because I guess one isn't hellish enough? 
I'm under a stupid amount of stress lately. What am I stressed about? Anything and everything. My weight, my finances, my relationships, my jobs - shit, my life. So guess how I've been coping? Alcohol. Like a lot. …
Let me preface this by saying I know I'm in my head. I know I'm not thinking straight. I know I'm trying to physically heal as well as mentally & emotionally. So, yes, there is a lot going on right now. From what I've been told, it is all in my head. I'm still dealing …
