Coasting

I'm currently sitting on my bed. I went to Temple, ran to Target, & came home. I changed my clothes, put on soothing music, & sat down. And the whole time, I'm trying to not cry. "What's going on?" My heart hurts. I'm not ready to open everything up & give you all the details. …

Supernova

I've been overwhelmed, in a fog, & unable to think straight. I've been meaning to talk to you but I can't seem to get the words out. I'm slow-moving & I can feel the stress piling on. So much so, my jaw has been hurting non-stop for about 2 weeks now (from clinching, not from …

Building walls

Disclaimer: I'm sure somebody will read this & want to reach out. Please don't. I'm not looking for a handout or pity friends. I'm done with that. I'm working through some heartache & this is how I'm doing it. I've spent most of the day isolating myself from friends & loved ones. I need space …

Empty promises

I know I've mentioned this before but it's weighing on my mind today... I'm so done with waiting and waiting and waiting for people to get their shit together. I realized today that while waiting for a change that will never happen, I'm putting my life on hold. Why do I do that? Why can't …

Hermit

Ugh. I'm emotionally, financially, socially, mentally, physically exhausted. I know. Everyone says that. I feel like today it's not an exaggeration. EMOTIONALLY I'm numb. There's some shit that has upset me (intimate relationships have their ups & downs) but I'm tired of going around & around. Fine. I give up. You win. Have it your way. …

Simmering

I think this is part 4 by now... I've been taking little breaks throughout the day in writing this. Disclaimer: This is just where I'm at today. I don't need anyone to "check up" on me. I don't need to meet anyone for lunch. I don't need to call my therapist. I'm not in any danger. …

“I would, but…”

I fucking hate that phrase. Do you know how many times I've heard it? Roughly sixty bajillion. It's always said to me like it's supposed to make everything better. Like they're the first person to bail on me. Like everything was out of their control & I'm the only one who has to suffer. But …

I’m here

I think these Israeli girls on the right are a perfect representation of my soul right now lol Hey... I know I've been AWOL. The short version is I've been sick & busy & can't seem to focus. I feel like I have the attention span of a sick gnat. Long version? HEALTH: I've had …

Old writing

I had recently found & reread some of my old high school writing. OMG. I thought it was SO GOOD. It was not. 😉 But I guess everyone feels that way until they get out in the real world & get better with their writing. One poem (of course, it was a poem) in particular …