I decided to keep this momentum from my last post & go right into #2. Enjoy!
PERSONAL POLICY #2 – BRIDAL & BABY SHOWERS
Look. I get it.
You’re super excited that you found the love of your life or that you’re having a baby. And honestly, I’m super excited for you too! But I will politely decline if you send me an invite.
“Wait, what? Why?”
For a few reasons, really.
I already don’t do games. Like at all. And the “smell the diaper” or “wrap the bride up in toilet paper” shit is just weird as fuck. I’ve tried FOR YEARS to be “that girl” who would get all into it but it’s not my bag.
Also, the last few baby showers I’ve gone to have put me well out of my element. Like over-the-top girly shit & multiple showers. Like c’mon. You’re just being greedy – one & done. And while I am proud to be a woman, I’m wired differently. And I’m no longer apologizing for it.
Bridal showers aren’t any different. It’s weird to sit & watch someone open up lingerie or silverware. Why am I here? Why is Grandma looking at Jessica’s new sex clothes? How is everyone cool with this?
I can happily send you a gift or a gift card along with my best wishes. But when I show up, I’m clearly uncomfortable & I can’t get out fast enough. It doesn’t matter how much I love that person. The idea of a forced party with an itinerary while being stuffed into a room with 76 other catty women sounds like hell.
I’ve heard all the excuses, too.
- “Oh, my bridal/baby shower isn’t like that!” Honey, they’re ALL like that. Hence why I created this policy that I will no longer go to one.
- “You’ll feel different when—” Let me stop you right there. I didn’t & I still don’t. Any party that was thrown for me was out of my control. Those who know & love me get that.
- “But I really want to celebrate with you!” Awesome. Then let’s do something separately together or in a small group (see #9 on small groups). I don’t do crowds.
- “I know you don’t like these, but…” Nope. Full stop. I’m not gonna make an exception anymore. Besides, I would ask you to respect my boundaries & understand that this is a hill I will die on. Not gonna happen.
Mazel tov to you & your significant other or family. Tell me where you’re registered & I’ll send you a gift but I will be RSVPing as no.
Sorry not sorry. This goes against my personal policy. 🤷♀️
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