It always makes me think of Andrea Bocelli
Maybe it’s because I recently turned 40. Maybe it’s just where I am in life. But for whatever reason, I find myself making my peace by walking away from people or things that no longer serve a purpose.
That sounds harsh but it’s not.
With people, I give & give & GIVE until there is nothing left. I’ll repeatedly ask the same question to get to know them better or ask to hang out. Or I’ll reinstate my boundaries or my wants or my needs. I’ll touch more on this next time as that’s not quite the direction I wanna head in tonight.
With things, I try over & over & OVER to make them work. Long after it’s been time to move on, I don’t want to let it go. I want to keep working through it or on it.
As I’ve been getting to know myself & this “newer model” (haha), I find myself saying goodbye to situations way faster than I previously had. There are only so many times you can reach out or so many times you can try to work through a problem. It’s not my job to fix what is broken – human or not. And I think that’s the lesson I’ve been learning. It’s okay to walk away from what is no longer working, be it relationships, friendships, careers, beliefs, or what have you.
I think this light bulb came to me when I was forcing myself to listen to my favorite podcast. Or, really, what used to be. I noticed the change in attitude & direction for the last few months. Other fans had as well. It felt forced & the hosts’ hearts aren’t into it. I was a fan for years & would listen to it the second it dropped. Now, I was 2 months behind & why? Why was I forcing myself to keep up when I didn’t enjoy it anymore? Why did it matter?
I think it’s because I crave closure. I need situations to be wrapped up perfectly with a little bow.
It’s not realistic AT ALL & it’s something I’m working through in therapy. Sometimes there is no nice & tidy end. Sometimes it’s just abrupt & we learn how to move on.
Once I realized that I didn’t enjoy it anymore, I immediately stopped listening. In true Marie Kondo ways, I thanked it for serving me & being there for me when I needed it. But now, it was time to say goodbye.
I’ve been slowly implementing this in other areas of my life. I recently went through my “smaller clothes” basket (I’m pretty sure every woman has one). I cut it in half. There were some items that just aren’t who I am anymore. That chapter of my life is closed. By carefully applying this new concept of letting go without a perfect ending, I’m gaining momentum. It’s getting easier every time I apply it.
Maybe this is a concept you’re already familiar with or something you’ve already mastered. I feel like I’ve been working on the edges of this belief but now I’m finally diving in & feeling good about it. I can honestly say I’ve made my peace with these decisions.