Being content

I’m not sure if it’s because I’m American or how I was raised or how my mind works or whatever, but there is this “what if” inside of me when it comes to products.

Let me explain.

What if this shampoo is alright but there’s a better one out there for my hair? What if this mascara isn’t as good as that mascara? What if there’s a bigger, better deal out there & I just need to search it out?

Me trying to erase my intrusive thoughts

Ugh, it gets old.

I understand that a large part of this is OCD. In fact, the more I research OCD, the more I’m surprised I didn’t see it earlier. It’s more than just “excessive hand-washing.” It’s the inability to drop a topic & move on. I feel like I just apologize non-stop to everyone & everything. The insecurity & paranoia is REAL.

Moving on…

I’m trying to teach myself to be happy & satisfied with the products I have found that worked. Sure, there might be a better product out there, & there probably is. But I’ve recently thought of that saying that goes something like, “there will always be someone smarter, faster, better than you.”

I realize that a lot of this is Capitalism. We’re constantly being pushed to BUY, BUY, BUY so I do recognize that this is part of my American culture. It’s embedded into my society whether I like it or not (for the record, I do not). It’s part of our culture to search for the bigger, better product & to be ahead of the curve.

Real talk: That shit is stressful. Who can keep up with that?!

It hit me when I was trying yet another mascara I wasn’t crazy about. This was the 3rd one in a row. What was I doing? Who cares if the one I liked was “an older version” & not the latest & greatest? I liked it! I immediately added my Ol’ Faithful to my Target cart & vowed to not go through this process again unless my favorite was discontinued.

It reminds me of “decision fatigue” (I think that’s what it’s called). It’s when you’re overwhelmed with so many choices that you can’t make a choice. I was starting to get that way with various products. I mean, I’m using my makeup example as a random example, but I find this in all areas of my life.

Literally, ALL areas of my life. I think this is where OCD rears its head.

Being a visual person, I like to picture it as various rock sizes in a jar. I’m sure you’ve seen this before but the premise is you have some large rocks, medium rocks, small rocks, pebbles, & sand. The only way to fill up the jar is to put the large ones in first then work your way down until you top it off with sand. It won’t work any other way.

I’m not saying that not stressing myself out over Shabbat bread is a large rock. I know it’s a pebble. But I also know that I have A LOT of pebbles, like handfuls of pebbles. If I can remove them from the jar that is my mind, I’m all for it.

It reminds me of Steve Jobs who wore the same thing every day. It’s just one less decision he had to make every day so that he can focus his energy on something else. I’m trying to channel into that type of thinking in as many areas of my life as I can. Anything I can simplify & be content with is a major win in my book.

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