I love ocean creatures. Puffins, jellyfish, baby squid, sea turtles – Ahh! Makes my heart go a-flutter. I love listening to water sounds or watching something like Blue Planet or Big Pacific to fall asleep. It’s so fascinating yet relaxing. I mean, I also love watching autopsies & human anatomy stuff but that’ll keep me up because I’m like, “Ooh! Yeah!” It’s a little too interesting. I need that sweet spot & the ocean is it.
With watching these documentaries, I’m learning how much I can relate to certain oceanic animals. I don’t want to use the term “spirit animal” as I believe it’s disrespectful to my Native American/First People readers. But there is something about the way the animal glides in the water that pulls me in like a siren’s song.
I go through different stages with different animals. When I was younger, manta rays were my favorite. They’re so large yet they dance in the water & can jump out – all 3000 lbs! They remind me to not be limited by my size or surroundings.
Other times, a mantis shrimp helps me. They remind me to show my true colors & to not put up with anyone’s shit. 😉
But lately, the octopus has been speaking to me. They can change colors in 1/16 of a second (!), that includes texture as well. They are excellent at camouflage & can squeeze their bodies into small, tight spaces.
I realize this sounds like a book report, but hear me out. 😉 They are powerful, highly intelligent creatures. But no matter how strong or smart they are, they can still feel ganged up on my smaller fish & will retreat to their tiny hole in the coral reef. When I watch them, a part of me wants to be like, “Honey, you are so much stronger than that little fish! Choke the life out of him & continue being the badass that you are!”
And then I realize, “Oh shit. I am that octopus.” 😬
It doesn’t seem to matter how well-informed I am about a topic or how much more training I have. If a confident, smaller fish comes up, my instinct is to change my appearance or temperament & run away. Why do I do that? Why do I cower around others who I could easily take on?
Maybe it’s my fear of rejection & abandonment. Maybe it stems from my lonely childhood when I wanted so badly to be loved & accepted for who I was. Regardless of the reason, I’m trying to be more aware of my natural instinct to emotionally run & hide. And while I don’t need to strangle the little fish, I also don’t need to be afraid or intimidated by them.
I’m a powerful, intelligent, beautiful creature. And so are you. ❤️
finding my truth 