“No, she’s not”

I have a really cool story I want to tell you. As it involves a few different people, using initials might get confusing. So, for today, I’m changing their name.

I’ve had this story in the hopper for a while. As you know, things have been “meh” at best so I feel like I need to tell you this since it’s a win in my book. Maybe it won’t mean that much to you but it’s a big deal to me.

But first… a little background…

Adam grew up very traditional. His parents are country folks with 1950s beliefs. A man’s job is to work & a woman’s job is to stay home, in the kitchen, & have babies. That kind of shit. 😉 Not my belief but whatever. Adam is married to Amy & she’s the same way. When they were dating, they were both “courting” versus actually dating. Those who grew up in fundamental Christianity know exactly what I mean. You don’t date for fun. No, you date someone you want to marry. It’s something my parents tried on me & it’s a beyond flawed system. I mean, can you even imagine what their first kiss is like?

Ugh, gross.

Anyways, given that Adam & Amy are both like this, they both are under the belief that “it’s not right for him to talk to another woman or for her to talk to another man.” Their whole world is supposed to be their significant other & that’s it. Again, flawed as fuck.

Okay, so now that you know how he is & what he believes, this story will click a lot more.

A month or so ago, Adam came over to hang out. We’ve known each other for over 20 years. He’s been like my brother that whole time. It’s cool to have those truly platonic relationships, y’know? Amy has said several times that “she’s not worried about me because I’m like his sister” & “it’s okay for us to be friends.” I’m not even gonna get into the whole permission bullshit right now. Let’s just stick with this “allowance” for now. 😉

Knowing my experience with the opposite sex & knowing their belief system, that’s a big fucking deal that she knows “I’m safe.” Her words; not mine.

Okay, keep that in mind.

So Adam is over to hang out & to make plans with my SO. They’re making plans & mention inviting Mike. Mike is one of the many that have cut me off because his wife is a jealous freak. Yeah, I’m bitter about it. It gets really fucking old.


Adam says, “I talked to Mike & I think he can hang out with us as well.” I make a joke, something like, “Awesome. I won’t be around so you know he’ll be allowed to show up.” I smirk to my SO & then Adam pipes in, “Oh, I know. He was saying how his wife thinks you were flirting with him & I told him, ‘Dude, she’s not. Trust me.’ I had to tell Ted’s wife the same thing. That’s why he can’t be friends with you on FB or anything. His wife thinks the same thing.”

Hold the fucking phone. Are you telling me that Adam, the one with the fundamental, Republican, racist-as-fuck opinion stood up for me?! My jaw about hit the floor. I mean, I KNEW that was why Mike & Ted aren’t talking to me (controlling, insecure wives. God, what a nightmare to live with). It’s not the confirmation that’s so chef’s kiss. It’s the fact that this heterosexual man, with outdated ideas &, has openly tried to fight me on my ideas, had my back.

“I told him, ‘Trust me. You would know if she was flirting with you. She’s just being friendly. But whatever.'”

I asked him about Ted’s wife. “Oh yeah, that was when Amy & I were at their house. Even Amy was like, ‘No, dude. She’s not.’ But yeah. His wife does not like you.”

I don’t even know her but okay lol

Wow… I’m curious to know if any of it will sink in with either Ted or Mike. I mean, if I can’t convince them, maybe Adam could? But if not, it’s nice to know my quasi-brother is looking out for me. 🙂


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