I’m feeling pretty low today. I’m frustrated with a relationship & I don’t know what to do.
Why can’t they meet me halfway? Why can’t they offer reassurance? They know I have anxiety. They know I have OCD. They know how I’m wired. They know I don’t want to be like this. They know my insecurities & my fears. They know I’ve asked for the bare minimum, a crumb, some sort of comfort to quiet my thoughts.
So why hasn’t anything changed? I can’t make my needs any plainer. I’ve explained it ad nauseam.
I’m sitting here dumbfounded. Am I wasting my time? Am I worth so little? Why can’t you give me SOMETHING to hold me while I work on it from my end? Just meet me in the middle.
I dreamt last night of them along with a group of ex-friends. I kept walking through this house, trying to find an exit. I was hurt & broken & no one noticed. No one helped me & I was stuck inside this maze of a house, watching all the exes outside.
To me, it’s all the same. I give so much of my heart & I get hurt when others don’t give theirs. I’m setting myself up for disappointment & yet I can’t stop.
I don’t know my next step. TBH, I feel pretty numb to it all. Hurt, yes, but at this point, it feels like I would have better success getting water from a rock.