Murtaugh List

There are several things I’ve learned I’m “too old” for. I’ll be 37 in a few weeks so it’s not that I think I’m old. It’s more like I know I can’t do some things anymore.


So, in no particular order, here’s a list of random shit I can’t do or I need to stop doing:

1) Drinking heavily

I think I’ve just about figured my “sweet spot” & it’s roughly 4 drinks. After that, I’m gonna be feeling it & there’s a good chance I’ll be hungover the next day.

2) Eating whatever the fuck I want

I am carbohydrate intolerant. I can’t do simple carbs without having some sort of reaction. Case in point, I went to lunch yesterday with some family. We went to a pizza place & I ordered the thinnest crust I could (since they didn’t have gluten-free). Still wrecked me & it lasted all day.

3) Using products I used 20 years ago

Your body changes as it ages, new cells are created, & what used to work no longer does. There are several personal products I can’t use anymore because I’m not 16. 😉 Stuff like eye cream & a good conditioner.

How hot is Kelly Kapowski? Sexual awakening, right here. Haha!

4) Staying up stupid late or all-nighters

Unless I take a nap or I have a lot on my mind, I’m in bed & asleep by 2300. I don’t want to go bar-hopping/clubbing/whatever on a Saturday night. I wanna mellow out & get some rest because I’ve worked hard all day.

5) Not taking care of my health

Whether if that’s physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional, I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t put this shit off any longer. I’ve visited friends in the hospital because they’ve ignored a serious physical ailment. I was very suicidal before I finally got on the right medication & saw a therapist. I’ve kept friends who were toxic because I didn’t have the balls to tell them to fuck off. Whatever the reason, you only get one life, one body, one mind, one soul. Make it count.

6) Using apps for high schoolers

I’m on Facebook & occasionally Twitter. That’s it. I don’t have time or energy to do Instagram, Tik Tok, Snapchat, & whatever else. And I feel like I’m out of that age bracket. I don’t wanna be like that sad 40-something soccer mom who tries to relate to her kids a little too much. Think Amy Poehler’s character in Mean Girls. Also why I won’t dye my hair a crazy color. 😉

I’m sure I’ll think of more later but that’s a good start…



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