Yesterday was rough.
I did everything I could to not snap. I sorta snapped at my loved ones but nowhere near what I was feeling internal. I’m human so sometimes I fuck up, yes. Considering everything I was going through, I did really well.
As you know, I’m not a fan of bird-dogging. Like it really, REALLY pisses me off. I shouldn’t have to tell you something multiple times. I’m not your goddamn calendar or personal assistant. Get your shit together, right?
All-day yesterday was me following up with others. Clients, coworkers, bosses, friends, family – didn’t matter. “Did you do this?” “Did you schedule that?” “Is this ready?” and so on. So by the time it was 1900, I was over it. I don’t know what it is about me that screams, “Oh, I’ll be your PA for fucking free so you don’t have to make a goddamn decision yourself.” Grr.
How do people get this far in life? Wait, they don’t.
These are the stagnant ones who wonder why there’s no current in their life. They do nothing to promote or enrich their lives. They’re constantly the victims with a variety of health issues. They want oven results in microwave time. They see others work hard & achieve success and they want to be in their shadow so no additional work on their part is needed. Basically, they’re parasites.
You know my views on this – I have no problem pointing the way or offering my advice, but this non-stop following up shit? I can’t do that. But I’ll be honest. It’s hard for me to walk away. I want to & everything in me screams to do it but I can’t. I have this compulsion to see them succeed at the detriment of my own health & goals. Even more than my own success. It’s fucked up, I know.
I get it. You’ve heard all of this before. It’s an ongoing process. I do feel like I’m getting better with it. There are some instances where I have completely stopped. Sometimes literally.
I had a few calls yesterday for Job #1 where I just took a beat & sat in silence while the dumbass on the other end was stewing in their dumbass decision. I was letting their stupidity “soak in” until they realized that their lack of planning isn’t an emergency for me.
I’m getting there. I’m trying to learn what deserves my focus & energy. And these motherfuckers who know better? Not worth it.