I’m not sure what I want to talk to you about today so I’m just gonna get whatever’s on my mind at the moment out. Don’t get me wrong – I have a list on my desk of various topics I need to tell you & work through. But, as you know, everything’s been a blur. I’m sure I’ll be redundant as I feel like I’m going in circles. I know it’s more like a spiral & I’m working my way out.
There are just some issues I’m tired of dealing with over & over again. I know a lot of it is trial & error. But if I’m being really honest? I would say about 90% of it is me walking away because I’m over it & realizing no one is chasing after me. Nobody cares! Not to be depressive but all that tells me is that I was right in my decision & that I was wasting my time. No more, right?
Okay, so before I get into it today, lemme give you a quick update. As you know, I decided to stop carrying the bulk of concern, thoughtfulness, & compassion. I’m usually the one who is thinking 2-3 steps ahead & I will guide you to safety. But you know what? I’m done. It’s not my job to spearhead all my relationships, y’know? It wasn’t a super difficult transition. You just stop *everything, step back, & see how long it takes for them to notice. So far? They haven’t noticed or they’ve noticed & not cared enough to make an effort. Either way, I’m done.
Taking that coupled with my ongoing frustrations with being a free counselor/accountant/medic/whatever else, I find myself really fed up with people. Like zero tolerance or patience. I flat-out don’t care anymore. I cannot be the one to bird-dog you to handle basic adult responsibilities in various areas of your life. It blows my mind how common sense isn’t fucking common.
Which makes me think of Deadpool 😉
I’m not their life coach but, holy fuck, I feel like that. How they survived on their own in life & got to this point is beyond me. It’s the daily “pointing out the obvious” that’s eating me up:
“My boss didn’t give me the project I wanted. What do I do?”
Talk to her?
“My boyfriend totally forgot our anniversary!”
So tell him. What am I gonna do about it? You’re not dating me.
“Ugh, I didn’t get the promotion I wanted! Wtf!”
You’re never fucking there, Karen. What did you think would happen?
“Why can’t I keep a relationship?”
Gee, Eric, maybe it’s because you’re a selfish asshole?
I could go on but I think you get the picture. There are some convos I just refuse to engage in anymore. And the rare times I am answering, I’m being very curt.
So yeah. This is the phase I’m in right now. Handle your own shit. It’s not that difficult. Sheesh.
* I’m not doing this with everyone. Just the ones on that have been draining me.
This made me giggle