I know, I know. I’ve been AWOL again. I’ve been swamped with work (Job #1). See, Boss went out of the country on vacation & sadly, this is when I have to use the opportunity to correct some fucked up wrongs without being interrupted every 2 minutes or micromanaged. It’s a LOT of work up front but it should help me out tons down the road. On top of going through all of that, we’ve been busy. My meals lately have been protein shakes & Quest bars because I honestly haven’t had time to eat.
Sigh. So yeah. That’s what I’ve been doing. I do have several things I want to talk to you about & get you caught up. Let’s start with my overall mood lately – I’m pissed.
Me in bird form:
I meet with Dr. G in about an hour which is good. Maybe she can help coach me through all of this.
I find myself at this point where I’m just fed up with people’s bullshit. I know – same song, second verse. 😉 But it’s different this time. I’m no longer tolerating it. I used to grimace & go along. But now I’m just cutting off communication & walking away. I’m not even sleeping on it. I’m tired of giving chance after chance, saying what I need, & being ignored. It’s part of me cleaning house & part of me being done with games. I’m being ruthless & IDGAF.
This is in my personal relationships as well. Being blunt, I’m sexually frustrated but I’m past the point of wanting to have any kind of release. I’m too angry. And, yes, angry sex is hot as fuck but at this point, I’m pretty sure I would just suffocate him afterwards. 😉 I’m in no mood. Don’t even think about touching me. I will snap my jaws around you. “So what are you doing for any kind of a sexual release?” I’m working out. I’m taking it out on my body since I’m in no mood to take it out on anyone else’s.
I’m being short with clients & my dumb as fuck coworker. I’m deleting people from my life. I’m dropping out of group chats. I’m going to bed early just to get away from everyone & everything. I’m sitting in silence & just brewing it all over.
I’m so over it. I’ve tried to be patient. I’ve said exactly what I need. I’ve been there for others. And nothing fucking changes. No one notices. Nobody makes a goddamn effort in my direction. So fuck you. I’m out. You did this. You pushed me here. You can deal with the consequences of your selfish decisions.
finding my truth 