I’ve been thinking lately of how the Kubler-Ross model of grief applies to other areas of life, not just death. I see it repeatedly with how we handle unexpected information. Sometimes we linger for a while in a certain stage & sometimes we zoom past others.
For me, I was thinking about how often I see this in my life now. I’m grieving the death of old thinking, old beliefs, & old friendships. And, for the record, I’m not of fan of anything zombie-related. 😉 What’s dead is dead. Let’s not pull a Dr. Frankenstein. Anything I have tried to resurrect became a monster & terrorized my life. No, thank you. I’ll keep my eyes forward & take it day by day.
I have a friendship that’s in the Anger stage but almost the Bargaining stage. I don’t so much want to “make a deal” but I’ve been tempted to reach out. I stop myself every time & say, “No, SC. They can reach out if they want.” The fact that they haven’t says a lot to me.
Regarding my spirituality, I kinda feel like I’m all over the map. Some issues are in Acceptance. Maybe like 60%. Others are unknown & confusing (Denial) and still others are me searching for some kind of meaning (Bargaining). It’s definitely a process. One that is taking me a long time to figure out. It’s a total paradigm shift. Going from being told what to believe & blindly following to actually sitting down & going through everything one small step at a time. Sometimes it feels too much (Depression) so I have to back off & take it slower.
By looking at my life & assigning it a “stage” has really helped with my patience, understanding, & self-awareness. I don’t feel quite as lost as I did before. I can look back & see how far I’ve come. I can also thank my old way of life for teaching me these lessons now. While some are more painful than others, it’s kind to go through it now versus 5, 10, 15 years down the road. And by thanking them now, it’s easier to release them. Thanks, Marie Kondo. 🙂
I’m sure there will be more posts about this topic as I continue to work through these emotions. But for now, I feel like I have an internal compass to help guide my way through this forest & head to my true north.