Thank you, next

If an 8-year-old can do it, what’s your excuse?

I have this pet peeve. Actually, it runs in my family: Whenever I give a gift, I would appreciate a “thank you.” Take 3 seconds to appreciate the time, effort, & money I spent. That’s all.

Now, I’m nowhere near as bad or as obsessive as my parents are. They will ask 38 questions & talk about it over & over & OVER. Then they get all ass hurt when you’re not as excited about it the 7th time like they are. It gets real old, real fast. They also expect a text of when I received it, plus discussing it over the phone & email. Dear God. Get a fucking hobby. I could give more examples but you get the gist.


I’m not like that. Some kind of acknowledgment is good enough for me. Case in point, a friend’s sweet baby had his first birthday about a week ago. She sent me a pic of him playing with the gift before I was even out of the neighborhood. That was great. 🙂 Cute, happy baby & I knew that she got the gift I had left on her porch. I was good. But then! I was surprised with a hand-written thank you card! Like 3 days later! What?! Girl is on it! 🙂

To me, that was above & beyond. And you know what? I’m more apt to buy her adorable baby more Elmo stuff because she was grateful. Win-win, right?

Contrast that with CW.

* deep sigh *

Okay, so she was hounding me about her baby shower for a long time. I personally hate showers (as in parties lol) & games & making awkward conversation with people I don’t give two shits about. In short, it’s too expensive for me. It’s not in my Fuck Budget. She & I are not close at all. “Former acquaintances” is more accurate. I was surprised I was even invited. Kinda felt like she was grasping to get a lot of presents. You know exactly what I mean. Those type of people are not my people. :/

Anyway, she clearly didn’t get my hint when I ignored her FB party request. Ugh. Remember, I RARELY talk to her so I thought I could get away with it lol. So she sent me a message like, “Are you coming?” I decided to be a grown-up & politely reply, “No, I will not be able to attend.”

Quick side note: This is something I’m working on. Honesty without unnecessary fluff. “No, but thank you” is better than “OMG! I wish I could! I want to! But I can’t! AHHH!” See my point?

On top of my nice reply, I thanked her for the invite & sent her a gift. Now, I didn’t buy off of her registry because this is her first kid. Meaning, she registered for an assload of expensive shit from Buy, Buy Baby of all places. Yeesh. Keep in mind, we’re acquaintances at best. I haven’t had a halfway decent convo with her in at least 5 years.

Off to Amazon!

I sent a gift, a little message, & had it gift wrapped. I deleted the invite & moved on with my life. That was in mid-Feb about 2 weeks before her shower. See? I did good! Nothing last minute & no expectations of me!

Fast forward a few days ago, I get this auto-reply from Amazon: “Thank you for the gift. Sorry it took so long. We moved into a new house & everything got moved around. Cheers, CW.”

What. The. Fuck.

1) This was 2 goddamn months after I sent the gift. Amazon TOLD me when it was delivered. You couldn’t have written a generic thank you, then?
2) “Thank you for the GIFT?!” Do you even remember what I got you?! For fuck’s sake, Amazon will tell you! It was a book. BOOK. Same amount of letters as the word “gift.”
3) All I see is, “I don’t remember what you got me so here’s a half-ass apology 2 months later that’s smothered in excuses.”
4) “Cheers?!” Who the fuck says “cheers” at the end of a thank you?! What are we cheering for?

This is why I stopped giving gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, showers, & any other holiday you can think of. A simple “thanks!” via text seems to be a stretch. I don’t feel appreciated or needed when someone can’t take 3 seconds to send me a note. And if I give you something in person & you say, “thank you,” that’s perfect! You don’t need to follow up.

I don’t feel like I’m asking for a lot. Just be grateful & show some goddamn common courtesy. If even Ariana Grande can thank her exes, I think they can thank me for a gift.

So yeah. Pretty much confirmed that I’m done with presents. Girl, bye.

Thank u, next.


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