Yes, I’m still alive

I know I’ve been AWOL. I know.

I’ve had a crazy few weeks.

And on top of all of that, I’ve been in my head with a few things. I finally told SO the other day, “Huh. Maybe I should blog it out instead of letting it fester.” What a novel idea! 😉

I’m not sure where to start. My thoughts feel scattered. I’m sure this post will be choppy & it might take me a few days to get my feet back on the ground. But I will get you caught up on everything.

Let’s talk about my physical drama for today.

I’ve been fighting some kind of sickness for the better part of 2 weeks. It’s annoying as fuck. First, I was emptying out like no one’s business. Then, I was coughing. Today is the first day I’ve had my voice completely back. I think I’ve gone to the gym like 3x in 2 weeks. Huge fail in my book. I know, I know. I don’t want to do squats when my stomach is emptying out. I don’t want to do cardio when I can’t catch my breath just from sitting. I know all of this. And yet, I still feel weak.

I was talking to LH about it. I think we hold ourselves to higher standards & that’s why we get upset when we can’t do our normal schedule. I had created a good routine & was seeing results. Now, I’m scared to go back to square one.

Fuuuuck.

I pseudo have plans to go out to the gym tonight. TBH, I’m not sure if I will. I’m still clearing my throat a lot & blowing my nose. Maybe it’s better if I just use today as my last rest day & then start tomorrow morning…?

Does that make me wise? Or am I procrastinating? Gah! I hate this!

All I know is that I need to go take some meds because it feels like I need to blow my throat. And I guess if I’m still battling this on-going nonsense, wisdom would be to stay home.

Ugh. This shit has been dragging on & I’m over it.

So, fuck it. I’m gonna take tonight to mellow out, finish House of Cards, & hit the gym hard tomorrow.

That is the new plan!  (start at 8’55” for the full effect 😉 )

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