Feeling extra feisty & blunt today. Just head’s up – I’m probably not gonna make any friends with this post & I’m alright with that. 🙂
For those who are unfamiliar with Peanuts & its characters, Lucy Van Pelt is a little girl who offers “psychiatric help” for mere pennies. Charlie Brown comes to her with some issue he’s concerned about. She offers (usually) helpful advice after he happily pays her fee. It’s a nice professional relationship. He gets help, she gets paid. Everybody wins.
I was thinking about these characters the other day. Some days, I feel like Lucy. There are several “friends” who I only hear from when they need help. Sure, they’ll feign interest in my life at first but inevitably it turns to all about them. “Hey, SC! How are you? How are things?… I need your advice on something.” Sigh, sure, what’s up? I’ll begrudgingly ask. It’s never just the one time. It’s every day, all about them, & I get no benefit from it. Not even $.05. 😉
I don’t mind offering my opinion & help. I mean, that’s why I went to college & majored in psychology. However, I DO mind when I start feeling like a “free therapist.” Just like any other profession your friends may have, there’s a line between simple, free help & abuse. Don’t cross it. For example, you can ask your buddy who’s a mechanic if your carburetor is busted. Don’t expect him to fix it for free. Pay the man.
Please, don’t get me wrong. There’s a difference between venting & wanting to change & just being a whiny bitch. Venting doesn’t bother me. Never has. Sometimes you just need to get something off your chest & that’s fine. It’s healthy. Asking a friend for advice or to get their honest opinion on something you want to change is admirable. Many times they can see the answer you’re blind to. I love asking my friends & they open my eyes to something I hadn’t noticed.
Daily whining, “woe is me” bullshit gets on my nerves after a while. Find an outlet or a therapist. Or both. I don’t want to hear every fucking day about your problems when I have a shit load of my own to deal with. Especially when they are the same problems you had last week, last month, last year. The issue is YOU. You don’t wanna change & you need to. Bitching about it doesn’t do shit. If you’re unhappy with your life & your situation, CHANGE IT.
You have the power to do that. Stop making excuses & wasting everyone’s time. It’s a victim mentality. Or worse, martyrdom. Hate your job? QUIT. Hate your partner? BREAK UP. Hate the way you look? EAT HEALTHY. C’mon now. You know this. You don’t need me to tell you what you already know.
And if you don’t know how, I’m more than willing to help. But I don’t help those who abuse it. This isn’t a “get out of jail free” card. You have to put in the effort & I’ll support you. If you throw a tantrum & expect a handout, you’re on your own. Bye, Felicia.
I was talking to Dr. G about this a little bit in therapy today. She said it’s good for me to distance myself with negative people. She said they are “emotional parasites & they will suck you dry.” Damn. That’s so true.
So between thinking about what she said, my own personal frustrations, talking things out with LH (God, I love her!), & feeling inspired from this book I’m reading, I decided to start applying these changes today. Again, I’m more than happy to offer you the best advice I can & I will stand by your side & support you as you work hard. I can recommend doctors, medications, things that worked/didn’t work for me, healthy outlets, & point you in the right direction. I’m always available via text, email, phone call, snail mail, smoke signal, whatever.
I will be there until the end. It’s up to you when that is.
Until then, this “doctor” is in. ❤