I’m still here…

Recital is done & over with. Thank God.

It was quite a shit storm. I came close to having a panic attack but, thanks to kava & the insane amount of work that had to be done, I didn’t. My jaw hurt all last week because I was clinching it that much. That can’t be good, right?

There was a LOT of drama & anger & tears & I don’t want to get into it. And honestly, I don’t know if I ever will. Just know it’s been very painful & eye-opening. All I want to do is to quietly move on & to make some changes for my future. Right now, my answer to everyone is, “I don’t know.” It doesn’t really help but at least it’s the truth.

I’m physically & emotionally drained. I have nothing left to give. All I have is a dried out husk of who I used to be. I feel like a tumbleweed, bouncing through a ghost town, trying to find somewhere to call home.

I’ve been glued to my computer screen for the past 2 days, just working, working, working. Trying to get caught up on Job #1 & push aside my issues with Job #2 & to not freak out over a potential Job #3 (I have a teaching interview/trial class tomorrow & I’m nervous as fuck). And, of course, staying on top of things around my house.

So yeah. There’s still a lot going on right now. Blecch.

I miss talking to you & letting you know what’s happening. I didn’t forget about you!

I hope you didn’t forget about me…