Kindness

I know this picture has nothing to do with kindness but I thought it was just so beautiful! ❤ 

In the midst of my self-reflection lately, I was thinking about kindness & how often we should extend it. I do my best to show kindness to everyone & to be patient with them. Not just because it’s my resolution, but also because we’re breathing, living beings. The world is dark & cold enough. I want to be a candlelight in someone’s darkness, to bring a little light & a little warmth. 🙂

Like everyone else, I do have a limit. If the person is rude or demanding, my kindness will only go so far before my inner “fuck-it-o-meter” goes off. 😉

But what about the other side of it? Like when the pendulum swings & my kind words are falling on deaf ears. And to me, I’m starting to wonder where that line is & how to recognize it before I lose self-control or I end up with a broken heart.

I think the reason I’ve been thinking about this is that I’m curious if I’m wasting my time with certain people. I’m constantly extending kindness, patience, & love to them. And for what? Karma? Goodness? Acceptance? This deep belief I have that everyone just needs some hope & love? I’m not sure. But I do know that I can’t stop. I have this compulsion to be a better person than who I was yesterday.

I got into a, let’s call it a “disagreement,” with DD yesterday. 😉 Nobody was yelling or crying so I wouldn’t call it a fight but we’re definitely two halves on this coin. There is a situation regarding a person & they believe I should walk away from it. Cut my ties & don’t look back. They think I give this person “too much credit” & that I “put them on a pedestal.” However, I disagree. I look at it as me believing the good in someone & being a patient friend. This person isn’t an asshole nor have they been rude to me. They’ve been very kind & very understanding. Why would I walk away? Because of the situation, things are delicate, yes, but I don’t believe that would be grounds for leaving the relationship. I’m not a fair-weathered friend.

I normally wouldn’t give it a second thought but now my mind is flooded with questions: is that noble or naive of me? Should I continue to show kindness? Or am I too close to the situation to see if my emotions are being abused? Is all of my kindness & patience for nothing? Am I wasting my time? Where is that line, the balanced center? And how do I know if I’ve crossed it?

Hmm…

I honestly don’t know.