♪ Who wears short shorts? ♪

I attended a strict “Christian” high school. True to the patriarchal doctrine that’s been so ingrained in our society, I couldn’t wear shorts that were “too short” by their standards. We did the “fingertip test” for length (giggity). A girl had to have her arms down by her side & if her shorts were shorter than her fingertips, she would be sent home to change into “something more appropriate.” She couldn’t “cause the boys to stumble.”

Being a proud feminist, I still fume at that thought. I don’t even know how to start picking that shit apart: Women aren’t subservient to men; maybe train the boys to respect girls; stop building up this rape mentality that it’s the victim’s fault; not everyone is heterosexual; would you say this to boys if their pants or shirts were too tight?; do you know how impossible it is to find shorts that fit let alone that follow your ridiculous standard?; what if a girl is like me & has “long piano fingers” versus someone with stubby fingers? How is that fair & just?; & so forth.

Moving right along…begrudgingly…

The weather here has jumped right into summer. Spring passed over a weekend or something. We’re dealing with 80-90° here (26-32° C, for my international friends 🙂 ) pretty consistently every day. It seems out of left field. Since I’m quickly done with jeans, I pulled my shorts out of the “seasonal” bin I have. I realized putting them on that they’re short. My ass is covered & I don’t wear Daisy Dukes. But they definitely don’t pass the “fingertip test.”

But then I had a thought.

Do I care?

No. No, I don’t.

If someone is gonna stare at me, whatever I’m wearing isn’t going to change that. Shit, I look at people because I’m laughing at their funny shirt or gawking at their gorgeous dress or I admire their confidence or whatever. I rarely notice if they’re wearing short shorts. I try to see people as HUMAN BEINGS & not sexual objects. Crazy concept, right?

I pretty much decided, “No. Fuck that. I’m gonna be comfortable.” And so I am. I don’t care if others think I’m inappropriate. I think they have a stick up their ass. 😉 I’m gonna wear what makes me happy!

Who wears short shorts? I do, bitch! LOL 😛


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