* exhales *

Not a picture of me but it’s exactly how I’ve been feeling. Just meh.

Today is Day 3 of me being in this latest “funk.” I really hate using that word. To me, it sounds like I’m just in a bad mood & I need to snap out of it. Of course, that isn’t the case.

There’s nothing wrong going on in my life. Bills are paid, food is in the fridge, everything is lined up & ready for the week. I SHOULD be fine. But I’m not.

Fucking depression.

I have no motivation, no drive to take care of basic necessities. As in, I’m forcing myself to take a shower before I go to bed. I feel uneasy yet numb, empty yet overwhelmed. Like I’m just existing. I’m not living. Does that make sense?

Ugh.

I’m not suicidal nor do I feel the need to cut. So that’s my silver lining. This really is one of the “better” episodes I’ve had. I am making progress, which is good.

God, I wonder how long this one will last. Even though I’m not really doing anything, it’s so exhausting.

Here’s hoping tomorrow is a better day…

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