Lately, I’ve been dreaming really weird. Like 80% nightmare & then it breaks into 20% happy or funny dream. I’m not sure why but it’s been my pattern lately.
Last night, during the nightmare portion, I dreamt about this girl who royally fucked me over for her benefit. She was a hybrid of two former best friends. Sadly, they had a lot in common – both are incredibly selfish & aren’t concerned with others who are in their way.
When I woke up, I realized I haven’t thought about either one in ages. I honestly forgot about them. I’m not sure if that’s a good sign or not, but I’m taking it as one. I look at it as I’m moving on from my past. And while they were a vital part of my life at the time, they aren’t anymore. Not even a blip on my map. Yes, they deeply hurt me, but I’ve learned a lot from them. In fact, I believe everyone I come in contact with is put there for a reason. Maybe it’s just a small lesson but there’s something we can learn from everyone.
With these girls (I’m calling them “girls” because they lack the maturity of a woman), I learned to be more open & receptive to others’ needs. I learned not everybody has my interest at heart & so I need to protect myself. Not in a way that I close myself off from the rest of the world but to be smart about it. I don’t open up to just anybody. Even this blog is unknown to certain people. Don’t give them ammo, right?
But I don’t want to focus on the pain they’ve caused. They’ve had their moment & it’s over. I want to focus on the fact I completely forgot about them. That’s a big step for me. As someone with a very strong long-term memory, that’s huge. I believe it’s a sign that I’m getting stronger, healthier, & wiser. I used to dwell on it, going over every detail, searching for what I did wrong. Now when I think about it, I just roll my eyes & move on with my life. Karma will sort it out, right?
I know it doesn’t sound like much but I’m really happy I’ve finally reached this point in my life. ❤ I’m good.
2 Replies to “♪ Now you’re just somebody that I used to know! ♪”
I love this. In the last few months, I’ve gone through a whirlwind of life changes (huge, painful (and very public) breakup, moving out of our house we had together, moving from Canada back to Hawaii, living with my parents again, and healing my heart and mind) SO, as a result of that, I’ve been experiencing a lot fo strange dreams too. For months, he was there in my dreams every single night and I couldn’t shake it. It still happens from time to time (ie, I had one last night), but they’re getting to be fewer and further in-between, and I think that’s “healing.”
Anyway, I enjoyed reading your words, and I’m looking forward to reading along more! 🙂
Thank you so much. I’m really glad it’s not just me.
I’m sorry about your painful breakup. I pray this next era of your life is your best! And hey! Hawaii has nicer winters. 😉