Lately, I’ve been dreaming really weird. Like 80% nightmare & then it breaks into 20% happy or funny dream. I’m not sure why but it’s been my pattern lately.
Last night, during the nightmare portion, I dreamt about this girl who royally fucked me over for her benefit. She was a hybrid of two former best friends. Sadly, they had a lot in common – both are incredibly selfish & aren’t concerned with others who are in their way.
When I woke up, I realized I haven’t thought about either one in ages. I honestly forgot about them. I’m not sure if that’s a good sign or not, but I’m taking it as one. I look at it as I’m moving on from my past. And while they were a vital part of my life at the time, they aren’t anymore. Not even a blip on my map. Yes, they deeply hurt me, but I’ve learned a lot from them. In fact, I believe everyone I come in contact with is put there for a reason. Maybe it’s just a small lesson but there’s something we can learn from everyone.
With these girls (I’m calling them “girls” because they lack the maturity of a woman), I learned to be more open & receptive to others’ needs. I learned not everybody has my interest at heart & so I need to protect myself. Not in a way that I close myself off from the rest of the world but to be smart about it. I don’t open up to just anybody. Even this blog is unknown to certain people. Don’t give them ammo, right?
But I don’t want to focus on the pain they’ve caused. They’ve had their moment & it’s over. I want to focus on the fact I completely forgot about them. That’s a big step for me. As someone with a very strong long-term memory, that’s huge. I believe it’s a sign that I’m getting stronger, healthier, & wiser. I used to dwell on it, going over every detail, searching for what I did wrong. Now when I think about it, I just roll my eyes & move on with my life. Karma will sort it out, right?
I know it doesn’t sound like much but I’m really happy I’ve finally reached this point in my life. ❤ I’m good.