I briefly mentioned a while back how whenever I receive a gift, I have this strong desire to reciprocate. This internal drive goes off that I need to match the giver’s gift, or if possible, give a greater one. If Jane Doe spent $20 on a present, I should too.
Sometimes, like around the holidays, I’ll spend more than what I originally planned because I found a great gift. I usually research and try to pay attention all year as to what they’re into. I want them to open it & be completely joyful! Imagine my disdain when I open a present only to learn it was a last-minute gift, an “impulse” item, or I was completely forgotten. Or better yet – “Since your birthday is in December, this is your birthday & Christmas gift.” That’s a dick move. If your birthday is in June, can I pull that shit as well? Seriously, don’t even bother.
Grr…
Anyway,
I was thinking about all of the concerns I have that fly through my mind regarding gifts. Why do I do this? Why does it bother me so much? I’m sure it’s part of this deep-seeded need to be accepted and loved. This whole fiasco used to really irritate me, but thankfully, not so much anymore.
Except for the “birthmas” gifts. Those still sting.
It didn’t really hit me until this past month with holidays (I celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas). I’ll be honest – some stuff I received was just rough. I mean, out of left field. But instead of feeling let down because I didn’t feel like they put the same amount of effort into my gift as I did into theirs, I had a new thought. Maybe this was all they could afford. Maybe they honestly thought I would love a waffle iron. Maybe they’re trying to get to know me better & they don’t know how.
I’m learning to not take it so personally & to internally shrug it off. I’m also learning I don’t have to give a perfect gift or spend the exact amount of money they spent on me. A gift from the heart means so much more, regardless of price or time of the year, right?
God, I sound like a Christmas special, don’t I? 😛
finding my truth 