Paddling away

As you know, I started meditating. It’s been really, really great. I close my eyes, sit still, focus on my breathing, & the time just flies by. I started with 5 minutes but I’m at 10 minutes now. I might try 15 the next time around. 🙂 I feel amazingly better, calm, & in control. Why haven’t I been doing this sooner?

Anyway, I had a lovely visual while I was meditating today. I pictured myself on a canoe by a lake. I pushed off the shoreline & paddled away. I maneuvered around large rocks & fought against the current.  I sunk the oar deep into the waters & worked hard to get myself into the calm waters.

I pictured my past mistakes, broken relationships, & old wounds on the shore. They were trying everything they could to get my attention & to look back. I refused to give them the satisfaction. It was a lot of work but I finally got away. The voices of the past had either given up or died out. I was alone & free.

I was unscathed & rocking with the peaceful waves. I felt the warmth of the sun on my face & a gentle breeze in my hair. I could hear birds flying high above me & the occasional creature, like a frog or a turtle, splashing in the waters. I smelled the fresh air with a hint of douglas fir from the forest on the other side of the lake. I saw a school of fish swimming past my canoe while a dragonfly danced upon the waters. And for the first time, I felt safe, sound, & in control.

I choose to leave my past. I choose to paddle away to give myself a better present & amazing future. I choose to take this path alone. That isn’t because I don’t have support (I do), but rather this is something I want to do myself. ❤ 🙂

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