Switched on

I had a really difficult moment this past week. For the first time, I saw my inner truth. I wasn’t actively searching for it. It was just there. Like a cold chill down my spine, I stood there tingling & trying my best to squirm away. But you can’t squirm away from the truth. It forces you to stop & deal with the reality of the situation. And my reality wasn’t pretty.

I hate myself. 

Whoa. 

No wonder I struggle with bettering myself. What’s the point of putting in the effort when you don’t give two shits about it? I stood there dumbfounded & amazed. Could this be my key to unlock my future? I need to work on loving me. But how? 

I was stunned & silent for a good part of the day. At least I know this is my bare bottom. I can’t see it getting any worse than self-loathing. And with that thought came a tiny sparkle of hope. If this is the bottom, then my only direction is up. As cliché as it is, it’s helping me focus on the baby step in front of me. Just start climbing up. 

And so, I took a step of faith. I reached out & flicked my inner switch to “on.” I’m going to live with a purpose. I’m going to treat myself well. I’m going to give myself a chance.

I’m worthy of love.