Zero energy

God, I can’t get over how tired I am. No, not “tired.” Everybody is tired & the word rarely has meaning anymore. I’m utterly exhausted. Spent. Worn out. Depleted. Fatigued. I have ZERO energy & the scraps of energy I do have are being siphoned away by other responsibilities.

Case in point…

I went to bed early last night & slept for 12 hours. I know. That’s crazy. I felt like I was 16 again. 😉 But between this migraine I’m trying to shake & feeling like I’m being pulled in multiple directions, I’m already done for the day & it’s only 1700. I still have other things to take care of. Fuck. How am I gonna pull this off? I’m gonna have to prioritize & some shit just isn’t gonna get done. That’s difficult for me but I’m gonna have to deal.

I think a large chunk of it has to do with the fact I’m feeling like I’m hitting another fun depressive episode. Yippee. I’m not sure how to describe it but others with mental illness get it. You can “feel” it coming. My eating habits have waned, I’m wanting to sleep more, & I’m being a hermit again.  No, I don’t want to talk it out nor do I want to hang out. I just want to curl up in bed & sleep it away. If I could check out a room at a nice hotel, I would crank it to 78, pile on the blankets, draw the curtains, & sleep for the next 12-15 hours. Actually, that’s not a bad idea… 😉

Speaking of sleep, I’ve been having some weird dreams. I mean, not just the content is weird but the coloring as well. I feel so grey during the day but my dreams are vivid & vibrant. But I’ll save that for another post. 🙂

2 Replies to “Zero energy”

  1. This. All of this. My body has been feeling regular/normal (I guess), but my mind is constantly exhausted. I’ve always had issues sleeping, falling asleep, staying asleep, and when I wake up and sit up in bed, it’s like a train of ExhaustionTM hits me and it takes everything to get out of bed and I feel exhausted until like 2 pm. The more I think about it, the more I realize that this just didn’t happen today, this has happened pretty much every day for years. It influences my anxiety in all the worst ways, and I just have to wonder what the next step would be, either in talking to a doctor or a councillor to get my mind in check or possibly even medications to take. I feel like there’s so many roads to take to move on from this, but which one is the next one to take?
    Love your stuff, love you a bunch,


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