I feel pulled in multiple directions by various people, situations, & distractions. Like a medieval rack, I feel strapped down & out of control. The pressure & tension from others is getting tighter & something is bound to break.
I’ve had a few serious light bulbs go off. I can’t waste any more time. I suddenly have this urgency to get my shit together. Time is running out. I don’t mean to be vague. It’s hard to explain when I don’t fully understand it myself. It’s this gut-dropped feeling. Now or never, SC. Move. Your. Ass.
I keep coming back to this same thought: I want to find my center. I want to find peace in the midst of the storms. That iconic picture of someone enjoying the view on top of the mountain they conquered? I want that.
I’ve tried to step back politely but that’s not working. I have to drop all other distractions. I can’t handle your burdens anymore. You have to carry your own weight up your own mountain. I’m being selfish & focusing on what’s best for me.
Sorry I’m not sorry.