Eponine

I first heard about Les Mis maybe 20-23 years ago. I heard “On My Own” & I instantly fell in love. I sat & listened to the lyrics & cried. I was finally introduced to a character who was just like me.

I’ve always been friends with guys. But there were a special few who I was attracted to. Sadly, my Mariuses wanted the Cosettes. I was Eponine. I was the one who would do anything for them but I was just a friend. Their love for me was strictly platonic. I heard every excuse in the book why they picked Cosette over me. I lived too far away, I wasn’t blonde, “Somebody told me something about you & it turned me off,” & so on.

Gee, thanks.

It was comforting to know it wasn’t just me. Other girls had this heartache as well. I’ve always loved older musicals (“Singin’ in the Rain” & “Anchors Aweigh” are high on my list). This was the first time I was properly introduced to a “newer” musical & I was hooked.

I poured myself into musicals which, to this day, help me when I’m really low. I relate to the characters. I feel their heart bleeding for a long-lost love, a just cause, or inner conflict. Eponine showed me I could be strong even if I was *On My Own. She taught me that true love doesn’t give up on others. She fought for what she believed in, even when it cost her her life.

In a world full of Cosettes & all the Mariuses that chase after them, I’m proud to be an Eponine.

* See what I did there? ๐Ÿ˜‰

And in case you’re not familiar with the song, here are the lyrics:

On my own
Pretending he’s beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me

In the rain, the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever

And I know it’s only in my mind
That I’m talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still, I say, there’s a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river’s just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I’m learning
All my life
I’ve only been pretending
Without me
His world will go on turning
A world that’s full of happiness
That I have never known

I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own

 

7 Replies to “Eponine”

  1. I first got my first full experience of Les Mis five years ago in December through the musical movie and “On My Own” wasn’t a song I remembered. In Les Mis, I couldn’t even remember characters’ names the first time with the movie at all. I did not remember much due to the shock and confusion that went through my head that happened when I discovered that the musical was a tragedy while watching the movie.

    The second chance-that’s when I believe I started to love Eponine and I honestly could not figure out why. “On My Own” to me was a sad song and it took an entire year to realize it was a heartbreaking song and an entire year to know why I love Eponine. I love her complexity, bravery, strength, and spark of goodness and she is a character I do emotionally connect to, but don’t relate to that well. “On My Own” actually helped me realize “I’m Not That Girl” was heartbreaking not just the sad song like I originally believed.

    I am a Les Mis obsessive fan

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    1. YES! Eponine was my spirit animal (?) until I met Elphaba. They are both two halves of my coin. Sigh…

      And I love Les Mis. We can be obsessive together! Ha!

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      1. Wicked was how I began to understand musicals and that was back in middle school so I was 12 and it has grown a lot since then. My fourth time I saw it was when I was 22. Elphaba is my all-time favorite musical character due to how much I relate to her. Wicked really was the beginning of my love with musicals.

        Les Mis on the other hand decided to challenge everything I already learned. It turned my love of musicals into a passion. It was where I started to go crazy over musicals. I discovered things about musicals that I thought were impossible.

        So these two musicals are literally neck in neck tied with best musical at the current moment

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  2. I have yet to see Wicked (I know, I know)! But I read the book, fell in love with the soundtrack, & will naturally gravitate towards anything Wicked-related. ๐Ÿ˜€ I’ll have a chance to see Wicked next year! Yay!

    I’m a huge fan of Phantom as well. And Rent. And Cabaret. And a bajillion other ones LOL

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    1. I also love Rent, Phantom of the Opera, Newsies, Music Man, Beauty and the Beast, Annie, Sound of Music, among others. I am a massive musical fan and sure they changed a lot throughout the years, but they never lost their spirit or joy. All musicals I love are wonderful and unique in that the songs tell the story and I love the way the emotions are felt in musicals. The emotions sure changed a lot throughout the years, but I do love them more than ever due to having a greater understanding now as opposed to back when I was 12 seeing my first musical on Broadway, which was how I first fell in love with Wicked.

      Growing up, musicals were a world of spectacle and dance, starting in middle school, they began to be a world of excitement, love, joy, and sad, they also were a world of happy and comic musicals. That was what I had known growing up. Enter Les Mis and it went against everything I grew up with: it showed me that some musicals are tragic and for the first time because aware of the emotion of heartbreak. All because of being aware of that new emotion, it sure changed how I view musical emotions in other musicals. I wouldn’t have been the Les Mis fan I am today if I did not decide to give the musical a second chance.

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