Pain sucks

How cute is this Lego pain chart?! Adorable, right?

The past few days have been extremely painful for me. For starters, it’s my “womanly time” (lol) & for some reason, this month has been a fucking nightmare. I was up from 0400-0500 because I was cramping so hard. I was in a ball & feeling something like waves rolling inside of me. I don’t understand why this month would be so killer compared to the other months. My doctor offered to put me on birth control but that just makes me nauseated all the time. Hellish period 6 days a month or pukey for 30 days a month? Yeah, it’s the lesser of two evils for me.

I’m cramping so much that my back is freaking out. I can’t remember if I’ve told you but I have some major back issues. I’ve been seeing a masseuse & a chiropractor for a few years now. I get a lot of spasms that (for lack of a better word) paralyze me. I either freeze up or drop down. Regardless, when it happens, I can’t move for a while. I silently cry through the pain, wishing it would go away. To have both cramps & back pain is insane.

I’ve been taking Vicodin & ibuprofen to help but I’m almost out of Vicodin. And since I don’t have a prescription (don’t judge), pretty sure I’m gonna need to stay with ibuprofen, which at this point is like candy. I’m not sure if it’s even doing anything because I can’t tell. I’m still aware of the pain while on meds – narcotics or not. Maybe I just need some Demerol or something. Ooh! A Morphine drip! There we go. 😉

So because I’ve been in so much pain, I haven’t gone to the gym but once this week (obviously before my period started). I’m so bloated that nothing fits. I feel like an absolute failure. I honestly think the only reason I haven’t fallen into a depressive episode is because I’m too focused on the pain. Meh.