Huh.

A few weeks ago, I was watching a video about OCD. They made a small side comment about OCPD. I hadn’t heard of it before so I researched it a bit & sent it to my friend to get their opinion. Their response? “Yeah, that pretty much sounds like you.”

Wait, what?

I thumbed through it again as my mind was racing. How could I have not seen it? Not just now but my whole life! Since then, it’s been playing over & over in my head. And, no, the irony isn’t lost on me. 😉 I immediately thought of different instances during my childhood when I was deeply disturbed over something that changed or something out of my control. My parents & older brother didn’t understand, couldn’t understand. I was just “being difficult” & I need to “get over it.” I wasn’t like them. I’m still not like them.

And then there’s this part of me that wonders if it’s truly OCPD or if it’s my personality type. I’ve very Type A & I think there are a lot of traits that are mirrored with OCPD. For example, I live & die by my daily to-do lists. If I don’t have it, I feel completely out of control. I aimlessly float through the day & it sinks me into a depressive episode. Is it normal for other Type As or is that just me?

And while I don’t hit every point on this very limited list, I hit enough to make me hyper-aware of it.

(comic drawn by Julie Ha)