Must. Not. Kill.

Much like my kindred spirit, Robin, here, I’m unbelievably frustrated. I’m fuming, seething. I feel like a boiling pot that’s about to overflow. I’m trying my best to regain control & to not blow my fuse. I got myself a fat drink that I’ve been nursing for the last hour or so. I feel ignored, unimportant, forgotten. You can all see me, right? I’m not some apparition, floating from room to room? Because if I was, pretty sure I’d float elsewhere. 😉

I’m not depressed at the moment. I’m beyond angry. I’m past yelling, past crying, & full into “Fuck It” mode. I’m trying hard to not light a match on this gas tank & walk away. I have worth. I have value. My needs & wants are just as important as anyone else’s.

And I’m not asking for anything extravagant. Just keep your fucking word. Do what you SWORE you would do.


Side Note: I know I’m being vague & I’m sorry to pull that immature shit. I don’t want to put potential readers on blast. This is just my shit & I’m dealing with it via writing it out so that I don’t explode at them in person.

I think a bubble bath is in order. Meh.


I took some meds, took a bath, & talked to a good friend who is highly involved about it. We may not see eye to eye but at least I know what is expected. If I can see the standard, I can go to it. Anything is better than flying blind, right? So I don’t wanna say, “All is well” when I don’t feel like it is. More like, “All is gonna be well.” Hopeful, right?

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