Sigh. I’m on the upswing today. About time, right? Which means I should be back to “normal” tomorrow. Normal. What the fuck does that even mean? Nobody is “normal.” We all fight different demons on different levels. I think we just reach an impasse & during that time, everything calms down.
I think part of what’s helping me is that I had a fantastic dream last night. The short version is I was offered a job to work for an organization I highly respect. Everyone was super excited to have me on board & to have my expertise. I felt wanted, needed, & loved. They gave me a gift & welcomed me with open arms. Nobody was catty, jealous, or resentful. It was like they were desperate to have me. Think Ben Wyatt on Parks & Rec when he goes to work for the accounting office. 🙂 I was nervous to start my new position but I felt accepted.
Ahh…acceptance. How I crave it.
Especially after feeling particularly rejected lately. Even though it was my subconscious, I think it helped. Dreams have always been powerful & influential for me. So walking into a room with a bunch of people who are thrilled that I’m there? Does wonders for my mind & soul.
I woke up feeling tired, but not exhausted, which is a good sign. My chest didn’t hurt. I still felt like staying in bed all day but I got up. The light is breaking through the darkness. Everything should be all bright & hopeful again by tomorrow.